So much has been going through my mind.

This year there has been three deaths in my family (my aunt’s husband, my mom’s sister, and my dad’s sister).  Three deaths within 6 months.  I know that life is short and to live life to the fullest but sometimes I “forget” it.  I mean sometimes I take it for granted and don’t enjoy it to the fullest.  Or maybe my definition of enjoying it to the fullest is different than other people?  I work hard and a lot for about 9 months of the year (teacher) and enjoy my summers off.  During the summer I travel when I can, stay home to relax, meet up with friends, and do other things that I normally would not do during the school year.  So far I am having a good summer.  But my aunt’s death really hit me hard.

I like to eat.  Well, who doesn’t right?  I never watch what I eat.  The more food there is, the more I can have right?  Over the last couple of years I’ve watched the number on the scale go up.  I’ve ignored it because I was running a lot and now have muscular legs.  Muscle weighs more than fat right?  But still that number on the scale bugs me.  And don’t get me started on my weight measurement.  Let’s just say it is not a pretty number.

I fail at  portion control.  Many times I’ve eaten (because the food was so delicious) to the point that my pants were tight.  And then I am disappointed in myself because I ate so much.

Last year my doctor told me I was pre-diabetic.  I was shocked!!!  That was the last thing on my  mind because hey I am a runner.  Runners are healthy and don’t get diabetes.  Wrong!  She told me it could be because all of the carbs.  I told myself it could be my daily dose of an XL Dunkin’ Donuts coffee with cream and sugar.  But really that is the only thing that gets me through the day with a classroom of 1st graders.

I am learning and trying to be more conscious of not only what I put in my mouth but also how much I put in it.  My mother is here from Mexico and makes these really delicious meals.  It is hard to say no to tortillas, beans, pozole, carne asada, etc, etc.   Our meals have too much fat and too many carbs.  Bad, really bad.

My goal now is to pay more attention to what I eat and how much I eat.  I am specially paying more attention to the sugar contents.  I don’t expect it to be easy and know that it will take some time. 

I have a doctor appointment in two weeks.  I am hoping to get good news from her.

Just Keep Running!

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3 comments on “Changes and wake-up call”

  1. Sugar is so tricky! using myfitnesspal, one fruit throws your sugar content off for the day. And then figuring out which are your good v bad carbs. We have to use a food scale too at our house, helps a lot. A bit of a pain to start while you realize what our portions actually should look like.Good luck!

  2. I so relate. Nonrunners all think that when you are in hard-core running training mode, that of course you'll lose weight. SO NOT THE CASE. I think the more that I run, the more weight I gain because the more I allow myself to eat in order to properly "fuel" myself. It's quite the battle. I am working really hard to control my portions, avoid mindless snacking (especially at night), and reward myself in ways other than with food. It's not easy. But, I still think it's healthier to eat a lot and run/work out a lot than it is to eat a very strict diet and be inactive!!!

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